Dr. Kittehridge's Files: The Abduction of Johnny Gosch

Johnny Gosch? Slave for a pervy sex ring?!

Hey there Crime Kittehs, Dr. Kittehridge here with a gone missing case to feed your need for the weekend.

It all begins with Johnny Gosch on September 5^th, 1982.

On a Sunday, a day that should be spent catnapping inside, Johnny went missing from his paper route. He was a mere kitten, twelve years old, earning his own catnip cash when he was mysteriously abducted after picking up his route load from the paper drop for the Des Moines Register. Only after residents in the area called to complain about their lack of newspapurrs did anybody realize that this boy could be missing.

His mother called the police department, later claiming that they leisurely showed up to her home in order to take the report. She publicly denounced them, saying that it took forty-five minutes for them to even show up and that they wouldn’t handle it as a missing persons case until three days had passed.

Police did confirm the kitten as kidnapped and an investigation occurred. A fellow paperboy named Mike claimed to see a vehicle following Johnny, but leads disappeared fast and police couldn’t obtain any evidence that a crime had taken place.

In hopes to gain any national leads, Johnny’s face appeared on the side of milk cartons. Still, nothing.

Noreen Gosch, his mother, hired a private investigator.

Noreen Gosch: Mother or Entrepreneur?

In a fishy tale, the private investigator claims that the little kitteh was taken to a farm in Sioux City, Iowa, where he was drugged, molested and photographed before being thrown into a child prostitution ring. Oh, and that he was then purchased by Michael Aquino, a man deeply affiliated with law enforcement. After this flitting tail, no charges were ever filed.

Let's be frank: Is there a motherfucking child sex ring going on in America?!

Noreen Gosch has since written three books about her son’s abduction as well as appeared on over fifty television programs.

Noreen Gosch: Mother or freaky sleazebag? You decide fellow crime kittehs!

If you ask me, I’d bet my founder on it that the mother had something to do with this “gone missing” kitteh.

Noreen Gosch claims that her kitteh once showed up at her doorstep in March of 1997 to quickly say meow and assure her that he was now safe and in hiding. There is no proof of this.

Noreen Gosch also claims that after twenty four years of him missing (postdating his visit to her), she was mailed photographs of her son in questionable positions. This was proven false. The photographs were taken in Florida before her son went missing, showing three boys having a contest involving who could escape the fastest.

On her website, she claims that she is no longer actively looking for her son. What type of feline could say that? It seems to my kitteh brain that she only wants publicity.

Johnny Gosch officially remains missing to this day…