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| Crime Kittehs Mobile Investigation Unit: Always parked behind Applebee's for maximum surveillance optimization! |
Hey fellow crime kittehs,
It's Det. Kitowicz here with a very special message (so special that I am actually reporting to you from the laptop we installed inside the Crime Kittehs mobile investigation van while parked behind Applebee's).
For crime kittehs Unsolved Mysteries is like catnip times eleventy-seven. It's the best thing ever pretty much but only when the mystery segments are introduced by the proper host.
Robert Stack had the perfect mix of spookiness and authority which led to Unsolved Mysteries becoming a cult classic for true crime kittehs but now Robert Stack has been dead over a decade and the new host, Dennis Farina, couldn't even spook a plastic bag if he popped out of that plastic bag's kitchen pantry in the middle of the night wearing a Wes Bentley mask.
What I'm saying is that we need an Unsolved Mysteries host that can not only fill Robert Stack's shoes but blow those shoes away by being even spookier.
I have used all my kitteh detective skills to track down the perfect suspect:
Desmond Harrington, Dexter's Joey Quinn:
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| He is on the phone telling his mom, "I was born to host Unsolved Mysteries." |
You know Desmond Harrington would rule as the new UM host! Please please please make Spike TV aware of this fact.
Go on Twitter and annoy :
@SPIKE_TV
Do not lay off until them make Desmond Harrington the new host of Unsolved Mysteries!!!
Signed,
Det. Kitowicz
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